Courage

I have always been concerned about what other people think of me. I know there are people out there who don't worry about that, who go through life doing what feels right to them, and living happy lives.

As a parent, I've been over-protective and over-critical, and I hate that. Now that Rachel is an adult, I have to rein in my impulse to correct her behaviors and nag about everything from how often she bathes to whether she needs a haircut. I hate this about me, I really do.

My mother was very much the same way, but I was more compliant than Rachel is. I've managed to do the impossible, and raise a child who is an independent thinker, while she's being harped on to be like everyone else. Poor kid. :(

Rachel doesn't worry about how people see her. She doesn't care if her jeans are a little too short, or her hair isn't combed before she goes out. She doesn't wear makeup except for really special occasions and, at age 19, still loves her graphic t-shirts.

I want to be Brave, with a capital B. I want to move through my life with confidence, unconcerned with the opinions of others. I want to say what needs to be said, unafraid of the consequences, and ready to act on what I feel is right, instead of backing down. 

I'm going to have my chance to do just that on Jan. 16th, at Rachel's next neuro appointment. I'm going to lay out my plan for beginning cannabis therapy for Rachel, and as much as I hope the neuro is understanding, and doesn't just fire us outright, we're going to do this. If he fires us, we'll find another neuro, but in my heart, I know this is the next thing we need to try.

cour·age

  [kur-ij, kuhr-]  Show IPA

noun

1.

the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear;bravery.

2.

Obsolete . the heart as the source of emotion.

Idioms

3.

have the courage of one's convictions, to act in accordance with one's beliefs, especially in spite of criticism.